Daphne_Ng's Xanga

Friday, December 29, 2006

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 15:32:34 GMT

singapore is a wicked place. everytime i came here i got sick :( so i started throwing up on the plane and i thought i would get better once i landed.. but no! so sadly i had to stay in bed for 2 days coz whenever i tried to get up i felt i was gonna faint. and coudlnt' eat coz i jsut want to throw up.. sigh being sick SUCKS. :D so i'm so happy now that i'm all goood. and i did have a safe trip here.. so it's all good :D

so while i was sick.. according to my mum.. internet was out for 2 days. no MSN no AIM no FACEBOOK no HOTMAIL no WEBMAIL no XANGA no YAHOO no GOOGLE no EVERYTHING lol. but it's all good now too! :D

from lying on bed all day and separated from the rest of the world.. i realized the little man was not there. was he sick as i was? was he fast asleep from the quietness? or was he just tooo tired to bother me right now? i wish he doesn't like me anymore coz i'm not a fun person to hang out with. but anyways.. i kicked him away for 2 days :D

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 07:30:46 GMT

last day in hk in 2006... decided to stay home and do nothing.

hv been back for a week.. what hv i done? let's seeee: eating + sleeping :P food is sooo good here and i've decided that it'd be a waste if i don stuff them into my stomach as much as i could. and what about my workout plan? hahhaa nah i tried to run.. but after 15 mins i realized i couldn't rrly breathe so i gave up. sigh. good thing hv been getting lots of sleep. ohhhh and lots of driving too :D although i always drift to the left if i dint' pay enough attention lol.

meeting hs frds was fun. i love mark six :D i think i can spend my whole day with them and i think i'll hv a happy life. too bad loyi is leaving in an hour and i'm not gonna see her for at least a yr? and i'm leaving in 22 hrs. but i'll come back hopefully :P

hk is fun.. but alien. 1. there're so many ppl around.. i wonder where all these ppl come from 2. but i wonder where all my frds go. i am only staying for a week so it's not possible to see all of my frds... a lot i rrly rrly wanted to see. but on the other hand i feel so far away from everyone.. it's like i'm from a different planet and i don feel related to anyone anymore. i think some of them feel the same way so everytime we'll just be like oh too bad timing's not right this time we'll see each other next time. but how many next time will there be? i should be back next xmas but who knows. the only reason i'm comign back.. is to see my family. and frds. hk by itself doesn't mean anything to me without the ppl i love. and everytime i come back.. good frds become frds. frds become acquaintances. acquaintances become strangers. it's sad and sometimes i'd rather not come back and live in a hope that i still hv good frds around just that we're too far apart to talk to each other often.

din't rrly want to go to singapore but i'm a bit excited now i think. there are frds there that hvn't become strangers yet... i hope. and singapore means spending more time with my parents. since there's no my room / my parent's room / bedroom / living room / dining room. it's all one gigantic space where we see each other every sec we are home.

do i miss ithaca? i donno. ithaca is a lonely place. but at least ppl are around. and there's sch to keep u busy to not think about shit. maybe that's why i never write here when i'm at sch and when i do write on holidays most of my xanga entries are sad coz i'm just tooo free and shitty thoughts just happen.

home. everyone's so excited to go home. i can see it on everyone's face when they leave ithaca. i will be tooo. if there's one. or maybe there is but i just refuse to call it home. first year i've ever think: *shrug* i'm going home. maybe a slightly exciting thought. but not rrly.

okok maybe i'm being pessimistic again. i've been out seeing frds since i came back and it's the first day i rrly stay home home and do nothing. it's a peaceful feeling and u'd say i should enjoy it but i just hate being alone. i told ppl that i can't do stuff alone. it's like there's this little man in my head that tells me: u're a loser everytime i do stuff by myself. it's not a good thing i think. so i try to shut this little man up by doing things. anything. and sch becomes the easiest way to shut him up coz it just takes up so much of my time. maybe i'm not working hard coz of any dreams or coz i'm scared of failure or any other noble reason. maybe it's just to shut this little man up.

or maybe i do believe in my dream. i believe one day i'll never hv to worry abt the little man again and live happily ever after.

if anyone ever read till here. thx. i know my language didn't make a lot of sense.

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edit:
btw merry christmas everyone! ok christmas is supposed to be a happy season :D

Monday, December 18, 2006

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 14:48:46 GMT

BACK TO HK! :D
call me or email me or come knock on my door!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 04:34:35 GMT

i miss the time when everything was so simple~

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 13:50:56 GMT

it's 10:53am now..
and i'm going to shower
then class
then lunch
then study
then class again
then tkd
then class agggaaaaiiinnn
then study
then sleep
then wake up for 8am class tmr

oh no i forgot my dinner.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 06:34:22 GMT

i feel like... everyone around me is striving / achieving sth..
while i'm here... trying to escape reality... escape competition...
i said i don like competition... but maybe i'm just scared.
've been trying to stay in my comfort zone where i don even know whether there is one..
gave up ppl that care.. what am i doing?
tryign to be independent...
but still a baby.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 03:34:15 GMT

ok i'm not gonna be a crying baby
i'm gonna ignore my tummy problem
i'm gonna train hard coz then u'll know i can actually kick
i'm gonna study hard coz i want to do what i want to do later on
i'm gonna play hard coz that's what my name tells me to

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 00:48:20 GMT

i'm addicted to Milo...
my mum used to make Milo every morning when i was small..
and i realized i still like it even tho i don like chocolate now..
maybe it's the only form of chocolate that i'll take.

there's so much things that i want to do...
yet there's so little time...
and sadly most of my time went to things that i hv to do...
i want to change this but i can't...

i miss the past..
i hate the present...
i fear the future...
is life getting worse? or maybe u'll say i'm thinking too much

i hv dreams...
wonderful dreams...
but i can't see any faces...

i miss home... wherever that is... if it exists

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 00:00:01 GMT

why do ppl keep on eating when they're upset?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 17:59:17 GMT

i guess i'll never be happy..
if i'm always looking for more.