| | last day in hk in 2006... decided to stay home and do nothing.
hv been back for a week.. what hv i done? let's seeee: eating +
sleeping :P food is sooo good here and i've decided that it'd be a
waste if i don stuff them into my stomach as much as i could. and what
about my workout plan? hahhaa nah i tried to run.. but after 15 mins i
realized i couldn't rrly breathe so i gave up. sigh. good thing hv been
getting lots of sleep. ohhhh and lots of driving too :D although i
always drift to the left if i dint' pay enough attention lol.
meeting hs frds was fun. i love mark six :D i think i can spend my
whole day with them and i think i'll hv a happy life. too bad loyi is
leaving in an hour and i'm not gonna see her for at least a yr? and i'm
leaving in 22 hrs. but i'll come back hopefully :P
hk is fun.. but alien. 1. there're so many ppl around.. i wonder where
all these ppl come from 2. but i wonder where all my frds go. i am only
staying for a week so it's not possible to see all of my frds... a lot
i rrly rrly wanted to see. but on the other hand i feel so far away
from everyone.. it's like i'm from a different planet and i don feel
related to anyone anymore. i think some of them feel the same way so
everytime we'll just be like oh too bad timing's not right this time
we'll see each other next time. but how many next time will there be? i
should be back next xmas but who knows. the only reason i'm comign
back.. is to see my family. and frds. hk by itself doesn't mean
anything to me without the ppl i love. and everytime i come back.. good
frds become frds. frds become acquaintances. acquaintances become
strangers. it's sad and sometimes i'd rather not come back and live in
a hope that i still hv good frds around just that we're too far apart
to talk to each other often.
din't rrly want to go to singapore but i'm a bit excited now i think.
there are frds there that hvn't become strangers yet... i hope. and
singapore means spending more time with my parents. since there's no my
room / my parent's room / bedroom / living room / dining room. it's all
one gigantic space where we see each other every sec we are home.
do i miss ithaca? i donno. ithaca is a lonely place. but at least ppl
are around. and there's sch to keep u busy to not think about shit.
maybe that's why i never write here when i'm at sch and when i do write
on holidays most of my xanga entries are sad coz i'm just tooo free and
shitty thoughts just happen.
home. everyone's so excited to go home. i can see it on everyone's face
when they leave ithaca. i will be tooo. if there's one. or maybe there
is but i just refuse to call it home. first year i've ever think:
*shrug* i'm going home. maybe a slightly exciting thought. but not
rrly.
okok maybe i'm being pessimistic again. i've been out seeing frds since
i came back and it's the first day i rrly stay home home and do
nothing. it's a peaceful feeling and u'd say i should enjoy it but i
just hate being alone. i told ppl that i can't do stuff alone. it's
like there's this little man in my head that tells me: u're a loser
everytime i do stuff by myself. it's not a good thing i think. so i try
to shut this little man up by doing things. anything. and sch becomes
the easiest way to shut him up coz it just takes up so much of my time.
maybe i'm not working hard coz of any dreams or coz i'm scared of
failure or any other noble reason. maybe it's just to shut this little
man up.
or maybe i do believe in my dream. i believe one day i'll never hv to
worry abt the little man again and live happily ever after.
if anyone ever read till here. thx. i know my language didn't make a lot of sense.
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edit:
btw merry christmas everyone! ok christmas is supposed to be a happy season :D
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| | Posted 12/26/2006 3:30 AM - 53 Views - 10 eProps - 5 comments
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